Sleep Struggles

Nighttime at our house is rough. Josh doesn't get home until between 6 and 7 and so, and by the time 8:00 rolls around, I'm ready for my kids to be in bed so I can have a couple hours alone with my husband to unwind and relax. Unfortunately, my children often make it impossible and it is really wearing me down. I have tried everything I can think of so I'm hoping that someone can offer me some input!

I'll use last night as an example. Last night I started getting the kids ready for bed around 7. Josh had a work dinner and when I'm on my own, their bedtime routine takes about an hour. The first part of their routine is giving them their bath. They really enjoy playing in the water, so they're usually in there for about 30 minutes. Afterwards, I got them out, and we put on jammies and brushed teeth while we were in there. Daddy got home around this point so they had a little extra playtime. At about 7:55, I asked the kids to pick out their bedtime story and read them their story. The girls gave hugs and kisses (Joel stays up a little later, I'll explain that in a bit), and I tuck the girls into their beds, pray over them, and shut their door.

Normally, it only takes about 15 minutes before Hannah comes out of her room. Here are her most common excuses:

"My throat hurts."

"I need a drink."

"I'm going to have a bad dream."

"I can't cover myself back up."

And all sorts of variations of those excuses. This lasts until she fell asleep. She didn't fall asleep until midnight last night, and Emma didn't fall asleep until after 11. Emma is better about staying in her bed but she sometimes fights with her sister and they get too loud and keep Joel awake.

The part that made me most crazy was that Emma got up at 5:30 saying she had a bad dream. I turned on a movie for her in her bedroom and tried to go back to sleep. Hannah came in at 6:30 and they were up for the day at 7.

I would be fine with our day starting at 7 if they went to sleep when they were supposed to. But when they are up until midnight, I'm not okay with it. Especially when their day really started at 5:30.

Now I have cranky, tired kids and I'm exhausted myself. I had to wait until they were asleep before I could take my shower and it takes a while for my hair to dry enough to where I can go to bed, so I didn't get to bed until 1. 

Yeah....sleeping from 1-5:30 isn't enough for this pregnant lady. Especially since I get woken up a little when Josh gets up (at 4:30) and don't really fall back asleep until he leaves (5:15).

I have tried moving naptime back a few hours. It didn't help. Emma gave up naps when she was 3 but Hannah still needs her nap. If she doesn't get it she either winds up falling asleep on her own at some point in the day or she just falls apart around dinner time and is impossible to deal with until she goes to bed. Because of this I don't feel that cutting out naptime is an option. 

Now, onto Joel. He stays up later than his sisters because he has his own room, plus his sisters sometimes get a movie. He goes to bed around 9, but ultimately I would like him to go to bed at 8 or 8:30 as well. Sometimes, when we put him to bed he cries because he doesn't want to bed and I have to intervene because he starts to bang his head on the door to get attention. The times when he does go to sleep, he often wakes up at 3 or 4 in the morning and winds up in the bed with us. Last night, however, he did great. He went to bed without a fuss and slept through the entire night. I have no idea what made the difference.

I really do not know what to do. All I know is I am so tired of dealing with this every night. Josh has to go to bed at 10 because he has to get up so early for work, so I'm often alone in dealing with all of them at night. I need time to wind down too. And I stay up way too late because of this and wind up exhausted the next day.

Sorry this post was not very organized and a bit all over the place. I'm tired... ;)

I'm hoping this is something we can get fixed soon because I definitely don't want to deal with this when we have a newborn too!

New Intro Post

It has been almost a year since I have blogged. I have missed it so much! Since it has been so long I decided I should put a new about me post, although a lot of you reading this probably know this information... :)

I have been married to my husband, Joshua, for six years now. We started dating in 2006, got engaged 6 months later, and were married 11 months after that.

Our oldest daughter, Emma Rose, was born on May 27, 2008. She absolutely loves to read, play games, and pretend to be our personal chef.

Hannah Noelle was born on January 3, 2010. She enjoys playing with her dolls, rough housing with her younger brother, and playing doctor to her stuffed animals (and us on occasion)!

Joel Israel was born on July 14, 2011. He loves wrestling with Daddy, playing with balls, and doing whatever his sisters are doing!

Finally, our fourth little one, Mackenzie Faith, will be here this summer!

Right now, I spend my days homeschooling our 5-year-old, writing articles from home, and trying to keep our house in halfway decent condition (this last one is a challenge for me!). Of course, our life has its challenges, but we try to focus on the positive and thank God for all the blessings He has given to us!

Moderation

This word isn't really in my vocabulary. I am an all or nothing person in pretty much anything I do. For example, I can't just go into the kitchen and load the dishwasher. Once I step foot in the kitchen, I won't leave until it is completely clean. When I sit down to write articles, I don't write just one or two. I don't stop until I have the entire block of articles done. The same goes with my eating habits. If I'm going to give up sugar, I won't have it at all. Not even for a special occasion. While this may seem like a good thing, I think it's not good for me. It can make anything in life unhealthy. An obsession. I don't want my life to become like this. I don't want to feel ruled by my decision not to eat sugar.

This might sound crazy to some people. I honestly don't know how many people can relate to me on this. But this is the way I have been my entire life, as long as I can remember. I don't want to be this way anymore. It turns me into a perfectionist which makes me unhappy when everything isn't perfect. So this is something I'm trying to change about myself.

So...I had sugar last night. Before I go any further, please don't think I gave up too easily or that I'm a failure. I did not quit because this was too hard for me. If I was going to quit, it would have been on Monday when most of my food options were sugar and I was very hungry. There are several reasons I had some sugar last night.

1. I was having headaches that were only getting worse. It was making it hard for me to walk or function. While this could have been part of sugar withdrawal, I feel that it was a symptom of low blood sugar. Which leads me to my next point.

2. I'm hypoglycemic. Just like my mom. I thought that my body could handle giving up sugar if I still kept some of it in my diet (like in fruit or the tiny bit that's found in other products), but I think I was wrong. I gave up sugar once when Josh and I first started dating and about three weeks in, I got really sick. I had to eat sugar again, I truly think it was in my health's best interest.

3. I was getting depressed. Not because I can't say no to my cravings, but because I felt like this was starting to control me too much. It is more than just being strong and resisting those strong cravings, because I still can and will do that. But both my husband and mom were telling me I needed some sugar and they were right.

So, the first thing I tried was Dr. Pepper. Let me just say, it does not taste nearly as good as it used to! I didn't enjoy it at all. I didn't have more than a few drinks. This is good, because I would still like to keep soda out of my diet. Then I had a chocolate malt. Holy heaven. It was amazing. I enjoyed every last sip of it. It was so delicious and so totally worth it. And one day later, I don't feel an ounce of guilt over it, so I know I did the right thing.

I still need to cut way back on sugar. I don't plan on drinking pop. (Except maybe on special occasions? I don't know.) I don't want to have sugar everyday, I really do still need to pay attention to how much I'm eating.

What I'm saying is, I need to cut back on sugar, not cut it out. This is an important lesson that I've learned these past 10 (11?) days.

Giving up sugar completely works well for some of you, and that is great! I just don't think it's in my health's best interest to have zero sugar. So, I'm going to have sugar, but only in

moderation.

One Week In

First of all, I just have to say how thankful I am that it appears that Hannah does NOT have RA. That lifts such a burden off of me. Now I'm just praying her blood work comes back normal so that we don't have to think about it anymore until her recheck in 6 months.

Now...about the whole no sugar thing. It's Day 9. It has been HARD. These past few days have been terribly difficult. I felt great for about two hours on Saturday, but that quickly faded away. It was replaced by extreme exhaustion, and a migraine by the end of the day. Now this migraine I'm thinking was low blood sugar, because Excedrin Migraine wouldn't touch it but once I finally got home and was able to eat, my headache almost disappeared. However, I have had a headache for three days in a row. Not constant, but I get a pretty bad one everyday. I thought that I would be past the worst of it by now, however my symptoms seemed to get even worse than before over the weekend.

I was at my parents' house Saturday, and then Sunday evening to Monday night. It was so hard not to eat sugar while I was there. First of all, they have Dr. Pepper, which I have been wanting really bad lately. Then they had all these cookies in the pantry that looked so delicious. I'm not gonna lie, I had one in my hand and I was seriously about to eat it. I had figured out a "logical" explanation of why it was perfectly okay for me to eat. You see, my general rule of thumb is if something has less than 5g sugar/serving, then it's okay, as long as I only have one serving. This excludes all sweets, I have stayed away from them completely. But these cookies only had 6g of sugar in each cookie, and I had found a cookie that had a little piece broken off. So I figured it was within my 5g limit, and I deserved it. Go ahead and laugh at me. I know it was ridiculous. Thankfully, my will power won the battle and I put the cookie back in the pantry. I am very happy to report that I did not have a single drop of sugar while I was there, no matter how difficult it was.

But, I'm going to be completely honest. I don't know how much longer I am willing to wait for the "good effects" to start before I give up. I don't want to give up, but I also don't want to feel this terrible everyday. I felt better BEFORE I gave up sugar, plus I didn't have to deny myself of cravings all.the.time.

I know this post sounds really negative. I'm sorry...but sometimes, I just have to tell it like it is. The last couple days have been hard and they've left me feeling weak. I got no sleep on Sunday night and was dealing with very grouchy children from 6 AM until 9 PM with no nap or quiet time. (My dad did take me out for a while, I think my parents could tell I was seriously about to lose my mind. So that thirty minute drive did save my sanity, and I am so thankful for that!) Starting after the doctor appointment, things were frustrating in more ways than one. Cranky kids, no sugar, sleep deprived, and unable to get a hold of Josh just makes for a rough day. Today I was really hoping the kids would sleep in since they were really behind on sleep. But they were up at 7:30 AM. Yay me.

This is such a bummer post. But I know tomorrow will be better (and who knows, maybe today will wind up better too). But the point of this blog is to be open, so here it is. My openly negative feelings...lol.

The Adventure Begins...

Here we are, Day 6 of no sugar. And I feel great! I have only gotten about 5-6 hours of sleep the last two nights, but I have a lot more energy than I used to even when I got 8-9 hours of sleep. It does still take my body a little more time to wake up than my brain, but I am so happy that I seem to be over the worst of this whole withdrawal thing! Also, my brain feels a lot less foggy and much more clear.

Anyway...I feel like God has really been opening my eyes on how unhealthy our family eats. Really, it's not just my family, it's a lot of families (don't freak out on me, I know some of you do make healthy eating choices for your family, and get ready, because you might be getting tons of questions from me soon!). I thought I was doing a pretty good job because my kids don't (usually) eat candy, cookies, cake, or drink juice. At our house, almost all of the mac and cheese, snack crackers, and cereal bars they eat are organic. We serve them lots of vegetables, always frozen, never canned. And yes, those are good FIRST STEPS. But now I see that there is so much more I could be doing.

My ULTIMATE goal is to have no processed food in the house. Make almost all of our food from scratch. Focus even more on fruits and veggies. Stop buying our meat from the store. I want 99% of what passes my kids lips to be healthy (and mine and Josh's, too!). I say 99% because I'm not going to panic if my kids have a piece of cake at a birthday party. Or have a piece of candy on Easter. But these things are going to be on special occasions only.

My friend Brittany referred me over to Heavenly Homemaker's website, and I read their eating journey and it really prompted me to start making some real changes. Why do I feel such a strong urge to start healthy eating now?

First of all, now is better than later. But mainly, I am doing it for my kids' health. Overall, my kids are very healthy. However, these last few months have been a little harder health wise. Hannah got sick with something that turned into an ear infection, bronchitis, and pneumonia within 48 hours. She then gave it to Emma and Joel, who we got on antibiotics before it could turn that bad. A month later, a stomach bug hit our house, and it kept cycling around. Joel and I never got it (but a lot of that is probably because I was staying with my parents at that time, and Joel was breastfeeding...let's face it, that has some pretty serious health benefits!) but poor Emma got sick three times in a row. About a month ago, Emma got really sick with a kidney infection. I had never seen her so sick in my life. As you can see, my kids health has not been at it's best the past few months.

To top it all off, my 3-year-old Hannah might have an auto immune disease. I DO have an autoimmune disease. Josh has stomach issues. It is just time for us to make better choices for ourselves and our children. Plus, if I start now, my kids won't really know any different while growing up and hopefully will make the same choices when they are out on their own!

I do want to say that this is a GRADUAL change. If I go after it all at once, I know I will get overwhelmed and fail. I also know that there will probably be a lot of recipes gone horribly wrong I think taking the sugar out of our house was a great first step. Now I only drink water, and occasionally tea (unsweetened!).

I know some of you probably think I am crazy, but I really feel God leading us to do this. For those of you who DON'T think I'm crazy, does anyone want to join me? No pressure, but I definitely think it would be fun and easier if I had someone doing it along with  me. If not, feel free to just leave encouragement (or feel free to tell me if you think I am in fact insane), or if you have been on a similar path, please give me any and all advice you are willing to give!

What I've Learned

Today is Day 5. Before I began this journey I kept telling myself I would only have to make it through the first five days before things got easier. At least, that's what I've read. So far, today I feel a lot better. It's not even 9 AM, but I'm feeling optimistic. My head feels less foggy, I don't feel like crawling back into bed and sleeping the day away, and I don't have a headache. I'm very relieved to be feeling better because for about an hour last night I felt terrible. I had all the symptoms of low blood sugar so that's probably what it was. I think my glucose monitor is off because it kept giving me really high readings when I checked it, and I know that's not possible since I haven't had hardly any sugar at all this week, and I typically have LOW blood sugar. After I ate I felt a lot better, though.

I have learned some things while doing this, even though it's only been 5 days. I thought I would  put down what I have learned so far:

1. Sugar IS addictive. No matter how harmless it seems, having too much sugar can be really bad for you (and I'm willing to bet that almost everyone in America has too much sugar). Also, when you have as much sugar as I used to, the withdrawal from coming off of it is very real and hard.

2. I have a lot of "triggers". I mentioned this briefly on yesterday's post, but I'm amazed at how often something used to trigger me to think about or eat sugar. For example, when I see a basket, I'm immediately reminded of all the Easter candy we had at the house last week and I want to go grab a piece before I remember there isn't any left. Or when I'm eating something that I used to have Dr. Pepper with all the time, and when I reach for my drink, I'm momentarily surprised to see a water bottle and not a can of DP. And we won't talk about what happens when I see something delicious on TV.

3. My weight fluctuates day to day. I already kind of knew this, but I have realized this even more while doing this because I have been weighing myself everyday. I normally don't weigh myself more than once a week (and typically it's a lot less often than that), but I have been weighing myself everyday to see if giving up sugar makes all that much of a difference for me on the scale. Well, I stepped on this morning and I'd gained 0.2 lbs. I've still lost 1.4 lbs overall, though. I'm really not upset because I'm looking more for the long term effects of giving up sugar, and I do think it will help me get to a healthier weight in the long run.

Now that I have given up sugar, I am thinking about making some other changes to my diet. If anyone has any input on these, please let me know!

1. I want to stop eating after 8 PM. Eventually I would prefer 7 PM but right now with Josh's schedule that isn't always realistic.

2. I'm going to start paying a lot closer attention to food labels. I have already started doing this, and I'm appalled at what I've been finding. I thought my kids ate a healthy diet (and I know they get plenty of nutrition), but I didn't realize how much sugar was in the everyday things that they ate. They were getting way too much even though they hardly ever have candy, juice, cookies, or anything else with obvious sugar in it! Also, I am surprised to see that the popcorn we have been getting has 6g of trans fat per serving. And there are 2.5 servings in a bag! These are just a couple of examples of things I have been finding that need to be changed.

3. This relates to number 2, but I am going to try to really cut down on the amount of fat in our diets. I don't want our family having ANY trans fats. At all. As for other fats, I'm not sure what a healthy number is to aim for, so I need to do some research. We also need to cut back on our sodium.

4. I am thinking about doing some kind of cleanse. I feel like my body needs a way to "reset" itself after coming off of sugar. This may be a bad idea, though. I know a lot of cleanses involve juices and I don't drink juice anymore, but I also want something that is safe, healthy, and won't make me feel bad. Any suggestions on this would be great.

Well, this blog is long enough, and my over tired cranky son has had enough of me being on the computer. So that's all for now. I have a lot to get done today, anyway. (I feel like I say that everyday...)

Wake Me Up When This Detox Ends...

Green Day, anyone? If you've never heard of them then you probably didn't understand the reference in my title. Oh well, I tried. For those of you who did get it, way to go! *high five*

Here we are, on Day 4. I've heard the first five days are the hardest, so hopefully I'm almost out of the worst of it? Honestly, it hasn't been as bad as I thought. With that being said, I know that things can still get a lot worse, so I'm not trying to jinx myself here. But, I have only had two headaches. The first one was a full blown migraine that came on Monday night. The second one was the next night, but thankfully went away quickly before it got too bad.

The only thing is...I am a zombie. I am so tired I can barely function. Is this a side effect of the sugar withdrawal? I sure hope so. Because if I didn't have kids to wake me up in the morning, I could probably sleep for well over 24 hours straight. I have zero motivation to get up and do anything. Even getting up to make the kids food seems like such a chore. I cannot wait for this to go away. I have heard that once the detox is complete, you have incredible energy, and I really hope that is true!

Speaking of motivation...I came pretty close to giving up on this whole thing last night. I was so tired of being tired, and denying myself of my cravings. Yesterday my cravings were insane. And it is amazing to me how many "triggers" I have that I didn't even realize. What I mean by that is I'll be doing something and then I'll see/hear/smell something that makes me think about how badly I would love a piece of chocolate or a glass of sweet tea. Anyway, last night I was *this close* to telling Josh "screw it, just go to the store and get some Dr. Pepper and chocolate chip cookes." (Oh my gosh. Chocolate chip cookies. I likely won't be able to stop thinking about them for the rest of the day!) But I didn't say anything, because I knew how angry I would be at myself if I gave up this easily. Josh wouldn't have let me anyway, but I'm glad I at least had enough will power to not give up. I'm almost there...I hope I can do it!