Moderation

This word isn't really in my vocabulary. I am an all or nothing person in pretty much anything I do. For example, I can't just go into the kitchen and load the dishwasher. Once I step foot in the kitchen, I won't leave until it is completely clean. When I sit down to write articles, I don't write just one or two. I don't stop until I have the entire block of articles done. The same goes with my eating habits. If I'm going to give up sugar, I won't have it at all. Not even for a special occasion. While this may seem like a good thing, I think it's not good for me. It can make anything in life unhealthy. An obsession. I don't want my life to become like this. I don't want to feel ruled by my decision not to eat sugar.

This might sound crazy to some people. I honestly don't know how many people can relate to me on this. But this is the way I have been my entire life, as long as I can remember. I don't want to be this way anymore. It turns me into a perfectionist which makes me unhappy when everything isn't perfect. So this is something I'm trying to change about myself.

So...I had sugar last night. Before I go any further, please don't think I gave up too easily or that I'm a failure. I did not quit because this was too hard for me. If I was going to quit, it would have been on Monday when most of my food options were sugar and I was very hungry. There are several reasons I had some sugar last night.

1. I was having headaches that were only getting worse. It was making it hard for me to walk or function. While this could have been part of sugar withdrawal, I feel that it was a symptom of low blood sugar. Which leads me to my next point.

2. I'm hypoglycemic. Just like my mom. I thought that my body could handle giving up sugar if I still kept some of it in my diet (like in fruit or the tiny bit that's found in other products), but I think I was wrong. I gave up sugar once when Josh and I first started dating and about three weeks in, I got really sick. I had to eat sugar again, I truly think it was in my health's best interest.

3. I was getting depressed. Not because I can't say no to my cravings, but because I felt like this was starting to control me too much. It is more than just being strong and resisting those strong cravings, because I still can and will do that. But both my husband and mom were telling me I needed some sugar and they were right.

So, the first thing I tried was Dr. Pepper. Let me just say, it does not taste nearly as good as it used to! I didn't enjoy it at all. I didn't have more than a few drinks. This is good, because I would still like to keep soda out of my diet. Then I had a chocolate malt. Holy heaven. It was amazing. I enjoyed every last sip of it. It was so delicious and so totally worth it. And one day later, I don't feel an ounce of guilt over it, so I know I did the right thing.

I still need to cut way back on sugar. I don't plan on drinking pop. (Except maybe on special occasions? I don't know.) I don't want to have sugar everyday, I really do still need to pay attention to how much I'm eating.

What I'm saying is, I need to cut back on sugar, not cut it out. This is an important lesson that I've learned these past 10 (11?) days.

Giving up sugar completely works well for some of you, and that is great! I just don't think it's in my health's best interest to have zero sugar. So, I'm going to have sugar, but only in

moderation.

One Week In

First of all, I just have to say how thankful I am that it appears that Hannah does NOT have RA. That lifts such a burden off of me. Now I'm just praying her blood work comes back normal so that we don't have to think about it anymore until her recheck in 6 months.

Now...about the whole no sugar thing. It's Day 9. It has been HARD. These past few days have been terribly difficult. I felt great for about two hours on Saturday, but that quickly faded away. It was replaced by extreme exhaustion, and a migraine by the end of the day. Now this migraine I'm thinking was low blood sugar, because Excedrin Migraine wouldn't touch it but once I finally got home and was able to eat, my headache almost disappeared. However, I have had a headache for three days in a row. Not constant, but I get a pretty bad one everyday. I thought that I would be past the worst of it by now, however my symptoms seemed to get even worse than before over the weekend.

I was at my parents' house Saturday, and then Sunday evening to Monday night. It was so hard not to eat sugar while I was there. First of all, they have Dr. Pepper, which I have been wanting really bad lately. Then they had all these cookies in the pantry that looked so delicious. I'm not gonna lie, I had one in my hand and I was seriously about to eat it. I had figured out a "logical" explanation of why it was perfectly okay for me to eat. You see, my general rule of thumb is if something has less than 5g sugar/serving, then it's okay, as long as I only have one serving. This excludes all sweets, I have stayed away from them completely. But these cookies only had 6g of sugar in each cookie, and I had found a cookie that had a little piece broken off. So I figured it was within my 5g limit, and I deserved it. Go ahead and laugh at me. I know it was ridiculous. Thankfully, my will power won the battle and I put the cookie back in the pantry. I am very happy to report that I did not have a single drop of sugar while I was there, no matter how difficult it was.

But, I'm going to be completely honest. I don't know how much longer I am willing to wait for the "good effects" to start before I give up. I don't want to give up, but I also don't want to feel this terrible everyday. I felt better BEFORE I gave up sugar, plus I didn't have to deny myself of cravings all.the.time.

I know this post sounds really negative. I'm sorry...but sometimes, I just have to tell it like it is. The last couple days have been hard and they've left me feeling weak. I got no sleep on Sunday night and was dealing with very grouchy children from 6 AM until 9 PM with no nap or quiet time. (My dad did take me out for a while, I think my parents could tell I was seriously about to lose my mind. So that thirty minute drive did save my sanity, and I am so thankful for that!) Starting after the doctor appointment, things were frustrating in more ways than one. Cranky kids, no sugar, sleep deprived, and unable to get a hold of Josh just makes for a rough day. Today I was really hoping the kids would sleep in since they were really behind on sleep. But they were up at 7:30 AM. Yay me.

This is such a bummer post. But I know tomorrow will be better (and who knows, maybe today will wind up better too). But the point of this blog is to be open, so here it is. My openly negative feelings...lol.

The Adventure Begins...

Here we are, Day 6 of no sugar. And I feel great! I have only gotten about 5-6 hours of sleep the last two nights, but I have a lot more energy than I used to even when I got 8-9 hours of sleep. It does still take my body a little more time to wake up than my brain, but I am so happy that I seem to be over the worst of this whole withdrawal thing! Also, my brain feels a lot less foggy and much more clear.

Anyway...I feel like God has really been opening my eyes on how unhealthy our family eats. Really, it's not just my family, it's a lot of families (don't freak out on me, I know some of you do make healthy eating choices for your family, and get ready, because you might be getting tons of questions from me soon!). I thought I was doing a pretty good job because my kids don't (usually) eat candy, cookies, cake, or drink juice. At our house, almost all of the mac and cheese, snack crackers, and cereal bars they eat are organic. We serve them lots of vegetables, always frozen, never canned. And yes, those are good FIRST STEPS. But now I see that there is so much more I could be doing.

My ULTIMATE goal is to have no processed food in the house. Make almost all of our food from scratch. Focus even more on fruits and veggies. Stop buying our meat from the store. I want 99% of what passes my kids lips to be healthy (and mine and Josh's, too!). I say 99% because I'm not going to panic if my kids have a piece of cake at a birthday party. Or have a piece of candy on Easter. But these things are going to be on special occasions only.

My friend Brittany referred me over to Heavenly Homemaker's website, and I read their eating journey and it really prompted me to start making some real changes. Why do I feel such a strong urge to start healthy eating now?

First of all, now is better than later. But mainly, I am doing it for my kids' health. Overall, my kids are very healthy. However, these last few months have been a little harder health wise. Hannah got sick with something that turned into an ear infection, bronchitis, and pneumonia within 48 hours. She then gave it to Emma and Joel, who we got on antibiotics before it could turn that bad. A month later, a stomach bug hit our house, and it kept cycling around. Joel and I never got it (but a lot of that is probably because I was staying with my parents at that time, and Joel was breastfeeding...let's face it, that has some pretty serious health benefits!) but poor Emma got sick three times in a row. About a month ago, Emma got really sick with a kidney infection. I had never seen her so sick in my life. As you can see, my kids health has not been at it's best the past few months.

To top it all off, my 3-year-old Hannah might have an auto immune disease. I DO have an autoimmune disease. Josh has stomach issues. It is just time for us to make better choices for ourselves and our children. Plus, if I start now, my kids won't really know any different while growing up and hopefully will make the same choices when they are out on their own!

I do want to say that this is a GRADUAL change. If I go after it all at once, I know I will get overwhelmed and fail. I also know that there will probably be a lot of recipes gone horribly wrong I think taking the sugar out of our house was a great first step. Now I only drink water, and occasionally tea (unsweetened!).

I know some of you probably think I am crazy, but I really feel God leading us to do this. For those of you who DON'T think I'm crazy, does anyone want to join me? No pressure, but I definitely think it would be fun and easier if I had someone doing it along with  me. If not, feel free to just leave encouragement (or feel free to tell me if you think I am in fact insane), or if you have been on a similar path, please give me any and all advice you are willing to give!

What I've Learned

Today is Day 5. Before I began this journey I kept telling myself I would only have to make it through the first five days before things got easier. At least, that's what I've read. So far, today I feel a lot better. It's not even 9 AM, but I'm feeling optimistic. My head feels less foggy, I don't feel like crawling back into bed and sleeping the day away, and I don't have a headache. I'm very relieved to be feeling better because for about an hour last night I felt terrible. I had all the symptoms of low blood sugar so that's probably what it was. I think my glucose monitor is off because it kept giving me really high readings when I checked it, and I know that's not possible since I haven't had hardly any sugar at all this week, and I typically have LOW blood sugar. After I ate I felt a lot better, though.

I have learned some things while doing this, even though it's only been 5 days. I thought I would  put down what I have learned so far:

1. Sugar IS addictive. No matter how harmless it seems, having too much sugar can be really bad for you (and I'm willing to bet that almost everyone in America has too much sugar). Also, when you have as much sugar as I used to, the withdrawal from coming off of it is very real and hard.

2. I have a lot of "triggers". I mentioned this briefly on yesterday's post, but I'm amazed at how often something used to trigger me to think about or eat sugar. For example, when I see a basket, I'm immediately reminded of all the Easter candy we had at the house last week and I want to go grab a piece before I remember there isn't any left. Or when I'm eating something that I used to have Dr. Pepper with all the time, and when I reach for my drink, I'm momentarily surprised to see a water bottle and not a can of DP. And we won't talk about what happens when I see something delicious on TV.

3. My weight fluctuates day to day. I already kind of knew this, but I have realized this even more while doing this because I have been weighing myself everyday. I normally don't weigh myself more than once a week (and typically it's a lot less often than that), but I have been weighing myself everyday to see if giving up sugar makes all that much of a difference for me on the scale. Well, I stepped on this morning and I'd gained 0.2 lbs. I've still lost 1.4 lbs overall, though. I'm really not upset because I'm looking more for the long term effects of giving up sugar, and I do think it will help me get to a healthier weight in the long run.

Now that I have given up sugar, I am thinking about making some other changes to my diet. If anyone has any input on these, please let me know!

1. I want to stop eating after 8 PM. Eventually I would prefer 7 PM but right now with Josh's schedule that isn't always realistic.

2. I'm going to start paying a lot closer attention to food labels. I have already started doing this, and I'm appalled at what I've been finding. I thought my kids ate a healthy diet (and I know they get plenty of nutrition), but I didn't realize how much sugar was in the everyday things that they ate. They were getting way too much even though they hardly ever have candy, juice, cookies, or anything else with obvious sugar in it! Also, I am surprised to see that the popcorn we have been getting has 6g of trans fat per serving. And there are 2.5 servings in a bag! These are just a couple of examples of things I have been finding that need to be changed.

3. This relates to number 2, but I am going to try to really cut down on the amount of fat in our diets. I don't want our family having ANY trans fats. At all. As for other fats, I'm not sure what a healthy number is to aim for, so I need to do some research. We also need to cut back on our sodium.

4. I am thinking about doing some kind of cleanse. I feel like my body needs a way to "reset" itself after coming off of sugar. This may be a bad idea, though. I know a lot of cleanses involve juices and I don't drink juice anymore, but I also want something that is safe, healthy, and won't make me feel bad. Any suggestions on this would be great.

Well, this blog is long enough, and my over tired cranky son has had enough of me being on the computer. So that's all for now. I have a lot to get done today, anyway. (I feel like I say that everyday...)

Wake Me Up When This Detox Ends...

Green Day, anyone? If you've never heard of them then you probably didn't understand the reference in my title. Oh well, I tried. For those of you who did get it, way to go! *high five*

Here we are, on Day 4. I've heard the first five days are the hardest, so hopefully I'm almost out of the worst of it? Honestly, it hasn't been as bad as I thought. With that being said, I know that things can still get a lot worse, so I'm not trying to jinx myself here. But, I have only had two headaches. The first one was a full blown migraine that came on Monday night. The second one was the next night, but thankfully went away quickly before it got too bad.

The only thing is...I am a zombie. I am so tired I can barely function. Is this a side effect of the sugar withdrawal? I sure hope so. Because if I didn't have kids to wake me up in the morning, I could probably sleep for well over 24 hours straight. I have zero motivation to get up and do anything. Even getting up to make the kids food seems like such a chore. I cannot wait for this to go away. I have heard that once the detox is complete, you have incredible energy, and I really hope that is true!

Speaking of motivation...I came pretty close to giving up on this whole thing last night. I was so tired of being tired, and denying myself of my cravings. Yesterday my cravings were insane. And it is amazing to me how many "triggers" I have that I didn't even realize. What I mean by that is I'll be doing something and then I'll see/hear/smell something that makes me think about how badly I would love a piece of chocolate or a glass of sweet tea. Anyway, last night I was *this close* to telling Josh "screw it, just go to the store and get some Dr. Pepper and chocolate chip cookes." (Oh my gosh. Chocolate chip cookies. I likely won't be able to stop thinking about them for the rest of the day!) But I didn't say anything, because I knew how angry I would be at myself if I gave up this easily. Josh wouldn't have let me anyway, but I'm glad I at least had enough will power to not give up. I'm almost there...I hope I can do it!

Sugar Detox, Day 3

It has now been approximately 60 hours since I indulged in a sugar binge. Thankfully, yesterday was much easier than the day before. I felt a headache coming on at 7 PM last night (almost exactly 24 hours after my first headache), and it felt just as strong and unbearable as the one before. I was making the kids dinner and had to get them in bed (Josh was at Bible study), and then I had a lot of writing to do, so I knew it had to go away ASAP. I texted my prayer partner and asked her to pray. Then I took some medicine and drank some (unsweetened) tea. Thankfully, the headache only lasted about 30 minutes and never hit the intensity of the first one. Thank you, Jesus!

The only "side effects" of the sugar withdrawal that I have been feeling the last 24 hours are things like extreme fatigue, and some joint pain, but that last one probably isn't because of the sugar detox. The other thing that has been affecting me is that I have been feeling very irritable. My kids are driving.me.nuts. Part of that is me, but part of it is them, too. I love and adore my children, but they have been extremely whiny and demanding these past few days. They aren't suffering from sugar withdrawal*, so I think they aren't sleeping enough. Whatever it is, I hope it passes soon, because I am really struggling to be patient with them!

Now for some good news. I am down 1.6 pounds since starting this on Monday morning. That isn't much, but I'm happy with it. Some people lose more in that time, but maybe since I'm not "overweight" I shouldn't expect drastic weight loss right away. My calorie intake was much better yesterday. Looking at MyFitnessPal, I only had 861 calories on Monday! Yikes! Yesterday I had 1,496. I'm trying to stay between 1,200-1,500, so I almost went over yesterday! But I was really hungry (probably making up for Monday), so today I'll probably be right in the middle of that goal. I need to up my water intake again today, I think that will help me feel more energized.

I have a very slight optimism that the worst has passed me, but at the same time I'm not holding my breath. As rough as the fatigue and mood swings, it is nothing compared to that headache I had on day one. If I can avoid those headaches, then I can definitely deal with being tired and maybe slightly grumpy. You just have to ask my  husband and kids if they're okay with that one. However, Josh is doing a sugar detox too so maybe he's feeling a bit grouchy on edge as well? (I love you, Hubster.)

Once again, I have a big day ahead of me, and I was up until after 3:30 AM (Thanks, article writing. And Hannah. And storms. And dog.). I am relying on God for my strength today! Which really, that's how it should be every day, I suppose.

*We took the kids off of sweets, but they still have sugar in their diets. We are weaning them off slowly, but they will always have some sugar, because of things like almond milk. The good news is, they didn't have sweets very often at all, so it shouldn't be as hard for them.

No Sugar...Day 2

I have now been sugar free for the past 36 hours or so, and the last 15 hours or so have been rough. I am feeling better now, but last night I was miserable. I went from feeling extremely hungry all afternoon (even right after eating) to incredibly nauseous. I also got one of the worst headaches I've had in a long, long time. All I could do once I got home from Bible study was lie on the couch. I took some medicine and it didn't even really help. I wanted nothing more than to have a giant slice of chocolate cake with a jumbo sized Dr. Pepper on the side. (Seriously. I miss Dr. Pepper. A lot. Would it be pathetic if I dreamed about it? Don't answer that.) It's a really good thing we don't have anything sugary in the house, otherwise I probably would have slept walked into the kitchen, eaten everything in sight and then would have wound up in the fetal position on the kitchen floor in a sugar coma.

Other than my unreal cravings and my monster headache last night, I haven't felt a whole lot different. I am really tired and my brain feels a little foggy, but I know my body is just adjusting. Oh, and I drank plenty of water yesterday, but I feel absolutely parched. I'm definitely going to up my water intake today, apparently I need a lot more when I don't have sugar. I will try to eat more too, I only ate about 1,000 calories or so yesterday. I know that's probably not enough, but last night when I felt so bad I didn't eat anything for dinner but a small piece of fish.

I have a feeling I haven't even felt the worst yet. I'm a little terrified but I know I can get through it with God's help. Guys, I was a HARDCORE sugar addict before. I drank way too much soda and lived off of sweet treats. Candy land would definitely be my dream world. It doesn't help that I went on a little sugar binge this weekend knowing this was the last time I would have them, at least for a long time.

The good news is my blood sugar is 94, which is amazing. I guess even though my body doesn't seem to be tolerating it well, it really is.

I have so much to get done today, so I hope that I feel okay enough today to get everything I need to accomplished.

If you don't mind, praying that I have the strength I need would be very appreciated! :)

Sugar Withdrawal Day 1

In an attempt to be healthier and get into better shape, I have decided to give up sugar. Thankfully my wonderful husband and cousin Amanda have agreed to giving it up with me which means we won't have any sugar in the house. We are going to take our kids off sugar too, at least for the time being. You may think I'm a crazy mean mom (I used to think that about people who didn't let their kids have sugar), but I'm just looking out for the best interest of my children, and they will be healthier with less sugar in their diets.

Today is my first day without sugar. This morning, I threw out all of our sweets and high sugar products. We had a lot of family over this weekend, and that combined with Easter last week, we had a lot of sugar in this house. I threw out our cookies, candy, doughnuts, ice cream, chocolate milk, and cheese cake. I also dumped my beloved Dr. Pepper down the sink *tear*. Anyone who knows me well knows that it was NOT easy for me to do that. I've been a Dr. Pepper addict for years and drink way.too.much of it every day. But, no pain no gain I suppose.

Since I have only been without sugar for 12 hours or so, I'm not feeling any withdrawal symptoms yet. However, I have a feeling in 24 hours or so, I will be. I'm going to blog about my sugar free journey in hopes that it will keep me accountable. I hope being open about this will not only give me the accountability and encouragement that I need, but also remind me of how I feel now with sugar in my diet. So, the next paragraph is going to be my list of physical complaints. Feel free to skip it if you don't want to join in on my pity party. ;)

My back pain is almost constant again. I rely on my heating pad for most of the night and even a couple hours throughout the day sometimes. My legs also ache terribly during the night, keeping me awake. During the day, the kids touching me can get downright painful at times. The amount of pressure they put on my arms and legs can feel unbearable at times. I'm always tired. Part of that is because I can't sleep at night due to pain but I think even if I got a solid eight hour night sleep every night I would still feel exhausted. I often have to take naps throughout the day which I just don't have time for. I'm at a weight I'm unhappy with (that I'm not willing to share at this point...I know I'm being open, but not THAT open). Just because I'm not overweight doesn't mean I'm at a HEALTHY weight. I wouldn't mind dropping 10 to 15 pounds. I'm also short with the kids and lose my patience instantly. <----That one is hard for me to admit.

Anyway, I know that week one will probably be the hardest, especially the first few days. But I'm determined to stick with it. You don't have to give up sugar with me, but if we happen to be hanging out and you see me about to bite into a Snickers bar (oh, sweet Snickers. How I miss you already), feel free to smack it out of my hands Dikembe Mutombo style and have an immediate intervention. I will thank you later. .. ;)