I'll use last night as an example. Last night I started getting the kids ready for bed around 7. Josh had a work dinner and when I'm on my own, their bedtime routine takes about an hour. The first part of their routine is giving them their bath. They really enjoy playing in the water, so they're usually in there for about 30 minutes. Afterwards, I got them out, and we put on jammies and brushed teeth while we were in there. Daddy got home around this point so they had a little extra playtime. At about 7:55, I asked the kids to pick out their bedtime story and read them their story. The girls gave hugs and kisses (Joel stays up a little later, I'll explain that in a bit), and I tuck the girls into their beds, pray over them, and shut their door.
Normally, it only takes about 15 minutes before Hannah comes out of her room. Here are her most common excuses:
"My throat hurts."
"I need a drink."
"I'm going to have a bad dream."
"I can't cover myself back up."
And all sorts of variations of those excuses. This lasts until she fell asleep. She didn't fall asleep until midnight last night, and Emma didn't fall asleep until after 11. Emma is better about staying in her bed but she sometimes fights with her sister and they get too loud and keep Joel awake.
The part that made me most crazy was that Emma got up at 5:30 saying she had a bad dream. I turned on a movie for her in her bedroom and tried to go back to sleep. Hannah came in at 6:30 and they were up for the day at 7.
I would be fine with our day starting at 7 if they went to sleep when they were supposed to. But when they are up until midnight, I'm not okay with it. Especially when their day really started at 5:30.
Now I have cranky, tired kids and I'm exhausted myself. I had to wait until they were asleep before I could take my shower and it takes a while for my hair to dry enough to where I can go to bed, so I didn't get to bed until 1.
Yeah....sleeping from 1-5:30 isn't enough for this pregnant lady. Especially since I get woken up a little when Josh gets up (at 4:30) and don't really fall back asleep until he leaves (5:15).
I have tried moving naptime back a few hours. It didn't help. Emma gave up naps when she was 3 but Hannah still needs her nap. If she doesn't get it she either winds up falling asleep on her own at some point in the day or she just falls apart around dinner time and is impossible to deal with until she goes to bed. Because of this I don't feel that cutting out naptime is an option.
Now, onto Joel. He stays up later than his sisters because he has his own room, plus his sisters sometimes get a movie. He goes to bed around 9, but ultimately I would like him to go to bed at 8 or 8:30 as well. Sometimes, when we put him to bed he cries because he doesn't want to bed and I have to intervene because he starts to bang his head on the door to get attention. The times when he does go to sleep, he often wakes up at 3 or 4 in the morning and winds up in the bed with us. Last night, however, he did great. He went to bed without a fuss and slept through the entire night. I have no idea what made the difference.
I really do not know what to do. All I know is I am so tired of dealing with this every night. Josh has to go to bed at 10 because he has to get up so early for work, so I'm often alone in dealing with all of them at night. I need time to wind down too. And I stay up way too late because of this and wind up exhausted the next day.
Sorry this post was not very organized and a bit all over the place. I'm tired... ;)
I'm hoping this is something we can get fixed soon because I definitely don't want to deal with this when we have a newborn too!
OK...I normally refer everyone to the Super Nanny technique!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/Getting-Toddlers-to-Stay-in-Bed.aspx
Basically...before bed give them a drink (not to take to bed), make them go potty, so that there is no reason they should be getting up at all.
Then follow her steps. First time up tell them it's time for bed, kiss and cuddle. Second time be a little more firm, brief kiss and cuddle. Third time say nothing at all, lead them back to the room, put them in bed, no cuddle or kiss, not even eye contact, no words! And do step 3 over and over again until they get it!
Basically...they want your attention but it is not the appropriate time for your attention. So be firm and with that guidance, hopefully they will get it!
As far as the mornings go. Emma is old enough to look at a clock and see that it says 7, right?! I have a clock in Brooke's room and she can not come out of her room (unless to potty) until her clock says 8. She can get up whenever she wants but she can only read books in her bed until her clock says 8.
How long does Hannah nap in the afternoon. Maybe limit her nap time to just 1 hour and see how that goes?
I would put all of the kids to bed at the same time. The girls might be stalling because they know Joel is still up and he might be putting up a fight because he has seen the girls do it for the past hour and it was working for them to stay up.
Just work together with Josh from 8 until 10 and hopefully you can conquer this together!!!
I definitely have seen the success that Super Nanny has getting kids to stay in bed. It may be worth a shot. It looks like a lot of work the first few nights but seems to be effective long term, so worth it! Thank you, I appreciate it!!
DeleteWell, here is my advice. First of all, I don't see the point of everyone taking a shower/bath everyday. You might think it is relaxing the children before bedtime but maybe it is not. Anyway, how dirty do they get in one day? 2) take the TV out of the girls room. No watching videos in the bedroom. 3) When Josh comes home do not have playtime with the children. It is too stimulating at that time of day. Have them get the pj's on and all go to the girls room and let Daddy read them Bible stories and all kids go to bed.. I have the book that I read to you dad and Paul and I might give it to you. No more decisions by children about bedtime reading. Tell Hannah that she can only get up one time after she is put in bed and the second time she gets up take her and put her back in bed and close the door. and keep doing that every time she gets up. Josh can have real play time with the kids on the weekend.
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